6 So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord.
7 For we walk by faith, not by sight.
8 We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.
9 Therefore we make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him.
10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.
2 Corinthians 5:6-10
Recently had a situation that made me stop and ask my self was I trying to hard. Why do we try too hard? Is it to have a sense of belonging, to gain attention, to compete with others, we all have different reasons. In almost every case they are not good reasons.
So what are some of the primary reasons we try to hard. In todays world with the constant visibility that social media gives. TV shows and movies give a façade of what our lives should look like. We all have fallen into one or more of these traps.
We are too agreeable
- Life would be very dull if we all agreed with each other all the time.
- Just remember that it’s okay to have boundaries and disagree with others!
Post on social Media constantly to get external validation
- The need for constant praise and external validation comes from Low self-esteem
- Social media has become a showcase for people that try too hard and need external validation
- Nothing wrong with Keeping up with friends and sharing pictures its becomes unhealthy when you obsess over it.
- Posting pictures of status every day about how wonderful our life is, How good our relationship is. We don’t take a step back to see that people can effortless see through the facade.
- People who are truly happy are not spending time to craft a perfect picture, story or posting something to prove they are happy. Truly happy people or our living their life, doing things that make them happy and enjoying time with their loved ones.
Everything is a Competition
- One-upmanship gets really old, really quickly.
- It doesn’t matter how good a story you have to tell; the competitor always has a better story.
- It doesn’t matter how good a job you do; the competitor needs to tell you how they have done it better.
- If you have the attention of other people, they need to get that attention for themselves.
- This behavior broadcasts insecurity and tells other people to stay away.
- Its better to simply be quiet about your own accomplishments and encourage others with theirs.
You are jealous or envious of other people
- If you have time to be Jealous or Envious you have time to change your situation
- Envy and Jealousy comes from not being at peace with our self.
- We seems to get too focused on what others people are doing, or have and what we want.
- We can spend time being jealous or envious or even angry. But it will not do anything to make our life any better.
- All we are going to do is waste valuable and limited emotional energy by being jealous
You never ask for help.
- We are stubborn people and get set or complacent in our ways
- Its easier to be stubborn then admit we might be wrong.
- Our stubbornness leads to extended and needless suffering because you need help but refuse to accept any of it.
- We all have heard that the answers to our questions or problems can be found in the Bible. So I turned to the bible as starting looking for an answer to understand how to know if you are trying to hard.
- We know people that have good intention and truly want the best for people. Most people like this are lacking of introspection and conscience. But there are a people that are is too introspective, too self-critical, and too unwilling to give themselves the benefit of the doubt that they would give a total stranger. These people can become spiritually numb. These type of people tend to forget that Jesus gave us a pardon and peace for all our sins. These people that are trying too hard typically live in constant fear and sense of judgement. In my search of the bible it shows us ways and answers to deal with this. Surely the better way is to live. Yes, we are sinful people but people who have been loved, redeemed, and secured to God through the work of Jesus can rest peacefully.
“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
2 Corinthians 5:21
God ask us to name and confess our sins but with gratitude rather than in fear of rejection.
“This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.”
1 John 1:5-10“My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. 2 He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.”
1 John 2:1-2
So we should not presume grace; but be grateful for it. Do not be cavalier about failure; confess it and move on.
Remember the story Jesus told about the man who tried so hard to be holy and could name the steps of progress he had made — thankful that he wasn’t like the sinful other man in the story? The other person in the story was anything but holy, but he went home at peace with God for confessing his unworthiness! His confessional and prayerful attitude seems to be at the heart of true holiness — the holiness that God himself seeks and honors in us
The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector
"To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ 13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ 14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Luke 18:9–14
Remember the three beautiful stories about the joy of salvation when sinners are found, returned to where they belong, and turn from their past life of rebellion and are welcomed back into the family of God? They were told to sinful people who were drawing near Jesus to hear him and turn their lives back to God !
These stories are found in Luke 15:1-32
1 Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. 2 But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” 3 Then Jesus told them this parable: 4 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
The Parable of the Lost Coin
8 “Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? 9 And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ 10 In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
The Parable of the Lost Son
11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. 13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. 17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. 25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ 28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ 31 “ ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ ”
As I was doing this research I found a few telltale signs that might help us understand are we trying to hard and God is trying to tell us to STOP and let him handle it.
What you believe to be well-intentioned efforts keep going wrong.
Life is not a simple math program or computer program that you can always get our desired results. So when things do not go as you plan them or life does not turn out how you dream it would. We should not instantly blame our self. Our intentions are well founded and our attempt a valiant effort. It was just different than what God has intended for us. So he gave us what we needed to change our path. Some times we are just trying too hard to see this and become blind to the signs that God is giving us to simply turn it over to him. Once we start listening to him we can stop trying so hard and allow God to do it for us.
There are times in life where our well-intentioned efforts are actually getting in the way of us receiving what God wants us to receive. A biblical example of this can be seen in the life of Peter. For example, when Judas betrayed Jesus, Peter lashed out and cut off someone’s ear. Jesus then criticized Peter and healed the man’s ear (Luke 22:51, John 18:10-11). Jesus did not question Peter’s intentions; he just knew Peter lacked perspective. Peter was trying so hard to do what he felt God wanted him to do. But he was making mistakes in the process. Peter had to learn that Jesus was the one who was going to advance God’s kingdom. Peter just needed to allow Jesus to do what he was going to do. We might be like Peter if our well-intentioned efforts keep blowing up in your face, this could be a sign God is leading you to do less so you can allow God to do more in your life.
You are trying to fill promises that no human can
God created us and wants us to accomplish his will on earth. He tells us that we will have to work. But the one thing we can be assured of is that God does not want us to accept responsibility for things that only God can accomplish. He gives us an example of this with Abraham and Sarah.
“And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”
Genesis 12:2
God made this promise, but Abraham and Sarah became impatient and then tried to fulfill God’s promise in their own power. Since Sarah was getting old and still had no child, they tried to produce an heir through Sarah’s servant, Hagar, But this was not God’s plan. God’s promises can only be produced through God’s power.
“The Lord said to Abraham, ‘Why did Sarah laugh and say, “Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?” Is anything too hard for the Lord?’”
Genesis 18:13-14
The main take way is that God could be telling us to stop trying so hard and allow him to step in and accomplish his plan. But we are impatient human that want instant gratification. Nothing wrong wanting good things in life. We all want a good marriage, career advancements, overcome sinful ways, healing from trauma, reconciling with someone we hurt. But to be able to accomplish these things. We will need to trust in faith and do our part. Then turn it over to God and allow him to complete it. It is extremely important that we do not try to get ahead of God. We do have to walk though the doors that God opens to receive what he has planned for us. But we have to wait for God to open the doors before we walk though them. Forcing the doors open will only result in delayed results and God using that as an opportunity to teach us a lesson. That most of us will not learn on the first try.
We are fearful of our own inabilities.
God works in seemingly strange and mystical ways. God does not call on us to do things that we can do with our human strength. He wants us to accomplish things that we can only succeed in with his strength presented though us. A great example of this is what God said to Gideon
"And the Lord turned to him and said, ‘Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?’ 15 And he said to him, ‘Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.’ 16 And the Lord said to him, ‘But I will be with you, and you shall strike the Midianites as one man.’”
Judges 6:14-16
God will always call us to accomplish things that you can never do unless he is right by our side. We will always be fearful if you focus on our own abilities because we will know we are not capable of doing what we feel called to do. To be honest we are not capable. No human is. But with God all things are possible
“ Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.””
Matthew 19:26
Because we are focusing too much on our self we are leaving in fear, God is calling us to focus on him more so faith can then fill us instead fear
You don’t know what to pray for anymore.
We do not always know what to do nor what we should not do. We differently do not know what will happen next. There are times that we pray so much that we don’t know what or why we should pray any more. But God tell us to live by faith,
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen”
Hebrews 11:1
You may not even know what to pray, but if you know the Holy Spirit is there to intercede for you, you know enough. Trust him always, for even when you are at a loss for words, God is always there to take it. We just having to be willing to give it to him and trust that he will do the right things. Once we give it over to God we should leave it and not revisit it. We have to LET IT GO. Try and remember the song.
Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don’t care what they’re going to say
These lyrics are true and follows Gods word. Once you have done your part. Let it go. When you slam the door. Let it go and don’t worry about what anyone say’s or does.
“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words.”
Romans 8:26
So to answer the question do we try to hard?. YES we do, Some people try so hard that it is holding them back from reaching the goals they set out to achieve. Some people try so hard and get so caught up in doing what they believe is right that to miss what God wants us to do. We all over look the signs that God put in front of us because we get so caught up doing it our way.
“Whatever you do, do it from the heart for the Lord and not for people. You know that you will receive an inheritance as a reward. You serve the Lord Christ.” > Colossians 3:23-24
”Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.”
Proverbs 16:3
So keep trying. Just don’t try "too hard" it could be your downfall. Make sure we are not trying so hard we can not see the signs the God is giving us to give our problems, our goals, our plans to Him.
“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”
Psalms 55:22“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:24-34